It all started at the gaudy resort
by Birth of Venus
Summary: After making a pact with Shadow, the party decide to visit Altamira. However, Raine, Regal, Sheena, and Zelos mysteriously dissapear! Can everyone else find them without going insane? Probably not. Rated T just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

It's me again! But this time, I popped up in the ToS section! Anyway, since I am incapable of writing serious fics, I'm just going to write another messed up one! Bwahahahhahahahahhahahhahaha…..

Disclaimer- I do NOT own Tales of Symphonia! Do you hear me? I don't! But I will soon. I am going to conquer namco but I need a gerbil army! Everyone, if you have a gerbil, send it in to me! I NEED YOUR SUPPORT!

Smart person that doesn't really exist: pay no attention to this nutcase and just read the story!

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**Chapter 1: A disturbing night in Altamira **

It was a beautiful day in Tethe- Alla. The birds were singing, the bees were buzzing and half elves were cooped up in dark laboratories doing slave-like labor at a minimum wage. Unfortunately, 8 heroes were not able to enjoy this beautiful day because they were busy trying to make a pact with Shadow, the summon spirit of darkness. (how original)

_Inside the Temple of Darkness…_

The gang was wandering around and Lloyd was whining like a baby as usual. "Why do we have to go through this dungeon? I'm TIIIIRED…" Everyone was at their wits end with him except Colette because she was… Colette! Raine suddenly turned around. "SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! I'M SICK OF YOU'RE WHINING AND COMPLAINING! NO ONE HERE IS ENJOYING THIS TEMPLE AND WE CERTAINLY DON'T NEED YOU MAKING OUR EARS BLEED!" Zelos nodded. "I'm going to have to agree with Raine on this one. It's bad enough that all this darkness is killing my complexion." Sheena rolled her eyes. "Like you ever had a complexion to begin with." Zelos sniffed. "You all are so mean to me."

Genis was clutching to Raine's shirt fearfully. "Raine, those creepy shadow thingies are following me…" Presea just looked blankly at Genis. "99 percent chance that the reason is because you have been set as the main display character."

"Oh… What's the 1 percent?" Genis asked. "because you have been using Ice breakers Liquid Ice breath mint." Suddenly two monsters with girly voices apeared.

"It's liquid,"

"It's ice,"

"It's Ice Breakers Liquid Ice!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! MONSTERS!" Lloyd screamed and suddenly started slashing them apart with his swords. Presea shook her head. "Actually it's neither. 50 percent is gel, 50 percent is sugar." Through all this chaos, all Colette was doing was playing with the shadow bulbs. "You can be Sampson, you can be Bob, you can be Mr. Jim-Jim, you can be Fluffy, and you can be Floooooooooooooooooooooop."

Regal, who was taking no part in this insanity was walking ahead. "Uh guys? We're at the altar." Everyone turned and sighed in relief. Colette however sniffed. "I have to say goodbye to my shadow friends?"

"YES!" Everyone yelled in unison. The five shadow blob things then went over to the altar and slowly merged. Sobbing, Colette called out: "Goodbye Mr. Jim-Jim! I loved you the most!"

Suddenly, the great summon spirit Shadow appeared. "Me… Mithos… Pact…" Sheena stepped up in front of Shadow. "I am Sheena. I ask that thou… Uh… What was that word? Ah screw it." She then hit Shadow in the head with a frying pan knocking him out. (Shadow IS a guy… Isn't he? O.O) She then grabbed him by the tail thing and dragged him along. "Come on guys… We're out of here." Everyone cheered and ran out of the temple also bumping into a lot of stuff on the way because it was so damn dark. Colette was calling to the unconscious Shadow asking if Mr. Jim-Jim was still in there somewhere.

_Outside the Temple of Darkness_

Everyone quickly got on their Reihards and flew away as quickly as they could from that evil temple that everyone hates. Zelos yawned and stretched. "Well, after going through that hell hole, I think the Great Zelos, his hunnies, and the monkey boys deserve a little time off!" Lloyd, Genis, and Regal glared at him. Sheena spoke up. "You know, it's really creepy when you talk in third-person like that." Zelos just sniggered.

Genis suddenly looked frightened. "I actually agree with Zelos for once! I hated the Temple of Darkness so much, I need some relaxation. But WHY do I have to agree with Zelos!" He started shaking in fright. Lloyd started shaking as well. "I know Genis… I'm scared too…" Raine just rolled her eyes. "Dealing with you guys has been hell on me already. I do need a vacation." Lloyd perked up. "Yeah! Vacation means NO THINKING!"

Colette gave her trademark smile. "Whatever Lloyd wants to do!" Genis looked at her. "Seriously, if Lloyd told you to jump off a bridge, would you?" Colette thought for a moment. "I don't know, would I, Lloyd?" Lloyd looked up from staring at a butterfly. "Huh? Yeah sure whatever."

"Ummm… Ok then." Colette then flew down to the Tethe-Alla Bridge and landed her Reihard. She then ran over to the side of the bridge and jumped off. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaahh…." Sploosh! Sheena looked at Genis. "Should we go get her?"

"Nah, she's a good swimmer, she'll catch up to us." And with that, they flew off.

_In the ocean…_

Colette was floating in the water with a bunch of sharks circling her. "Um guys?... Guys? Help?"

_Back on the Reihards… _

"So, where should we stay?" Genis asked. Zelos started giggling like a little school girl. Everyone steered their Reihards as far away as they could from Zelos. "I think we should go to Altamira!" Sheena shook her head. "No way, not that gaudy resort!" Zelos pouted. "Aw, come on! It'll be fun!" He looked at everyone. "What do you guys think?"

"Sure, why not?"

"… Understood."

"Pretty little butterfly!"

"Oh sure, go to a NEW BUILDING! Hmf. Ruins are plenty fun."

"Might as well check up on my staff to see how things are going."

"Wait, you're all siding with the pervert! COME ON!"

"Alright, on to Altamira!" Zelos cried happily zooming his reihard off towards the most relaxing place that Tethe-Alla had to offer.

_At Altamira… _

The gang (minus Colette) walked into the hotel. Sheena and Raine were muttering to themselves, Zelos was flirting with the cute girls, Genis was attempting to hit on Presea, which only resulted with her inching away from him, Lloyd was staring at the big tube thing in the middle ("pretty bubbles"), and Regal was attempting to check in. Suddenly, Colette shot up in the tube thing followed by a bunch of sharks. Genis looked up. "How did Colette get in there?" Raine thought for a second. "There must be a pipe that connects this hotel to the ocean. Colette must have got sucked inwhile she was swimming after us."

"Ohhhhh…" The group chorused. Genis looked at Raine. "How's she gonna get out?" She shrugged. "Beats me. Lets go to our rooms." Everyone nodded and headed to the usual 5th floor room.

_Later that night…_

Everyone was sitting in the room bored. Raine sighed. "Some vacation THIS is. Zelos, I'm never letting you make any decisions ever again." Zelos, however was staring at the clock intensly and didn't answer. Suddenly, Colette burst in dripping wet and covered in shark bites. Lloyd ran up to her. "Colette, what happened?" Colette gave Lloyd an ooc glare and pulled a piranha out of her hair. She then threw it on Lloyd. "Ooooh… Pretty fishieOWWWW!" The piranha started biting Lloyd on his little nose.

"Hey, how did you get out Colette?" Genis asked curiously. "The staff got me out with a toilet plunger." She sighed. Zelos suddenly jumped up. "YEAH! IT'S FINALLY TIME! TIME TO PARTY!" Zelos yelled and zoomed out of the room. Raine looked at Sheena. "What was that all about?"

"Probably wants to go over to the casino." Raine looked appalled. "What! That's his idea of spending the evening! Well, I won't allow Genis to enter a casino!" Sheena shrugged. "Neither can Lloyd, Colette, or Presea."

"Um, I'm actually 28 you know," Presea said but no one was paying attention to her. "They could watch a play," Sheena suggested. "The theater's right next to the casino." Raine raised her eyebrow. "Well, I guess that's ok then." Tsk, tsk, Raine. You don't know how wrong you are.

_Over at the Casino and Theater side…_

Before the group went their separate ways, Raine dragged Lloyd, Colette, Genis, and Presea to the side. "Ok, we'll be in the casino. You go watch the play over there. We'll be out at 11:00.pm." Genis looked at Raine curiously. "Why are you going into the casino? You hate those kinds of places." Raine sighed. "Someone has to make sure that Zelos doesn't die of alchehol poisoning." Genis's face lit up. "Please let that happen to him! Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease…"

"SHUT IT! AND NO!"

Genis cowered away from his sister's wrath. Lloyd pouted. "How come we can't come too?" Raine rolled her eyes. "Because, you're only allowed in if your 23 or older. And you're 17, are you not?"

"Uh, I'm 28 you know," Presea said, but no one was paying attention to her.

"Well, we'll be off. Enjoy the play!" Raine said as she, Sheena, and Regal went in. Zelos was already inside because being the idiot that he was. Lloyd sighed. "Ah well. Maybe the play will be filled with blood and gore. What's the name of it Colette?"

"Lets see…" she said pulling out the paper that the desk clerk handed them. "It's called Fluffy Mew Mew Cuddle Kitty Cat-ville. Sounds cute." Everyone else groaned.

_An hour and a half later…_

Everyone walked away from the theater and it seemed that Colette was the only one who looked like she enjoyed it. "That was unbelievably cute!" Genis turned to Colette. "Are you crazy? The whole thing was pointless!" Presea nodded. "95 percent of the plot to be exact."

"Sorry," Colette apologized… AGAIN… Lloyd scratched his head. "I would have enjoyed it more if I understood the intricate details." Everyone especially Genis stared at him in amazement. "Lloyd, you know the word intricate AND details!" Lloyd shrugged. "Well, yeah. One of them that I couldn't figure out… What's a cat?" Genis sighed. "I knew it was too good to be true."

Colette looked nervously at the clock ahead. "We're a half hour late. Oh, I hope the others don't get mad for keeping them waiting." However, when they got there, Raine, Zelos, Regal, and Sheena were no where to be found. Colette put on her usual cheerful smile. "Don't worry, they'll be out any minute now!"

_1 hour later…_

"Yep, any minute now!"

_2 hours later…_

"Yep… any minute… now…"

_3 hours later… _

"Any… minute…zzzzzzzzzzz…" Genis suddenly woke up from sleeping on the ground. "They're still not back yet?" Presea kept standing there her eyes slowly drooping. Lloyd, well, was sprawled out on the floor snoring so loud,it couldwake the dead. All of a sudden Raine burst out of the casino. But something was different about her. She seemed ten times more energetic then in her ruins mode (now that's just scary) and she was wobbling a bit. "RUINS! I'm blowin this joint to find some precious ruins!"

Genis backed away slightly. "R-Raine?" Then, Sheena came out. She too was different then her usual self. Like Raine, her cheeks were flushed beyond belief. (Druuuunk…) "Rainey, whadya doin out here? The parties in there!" And with that she dragged Raine back inside. Lloyd, (who woke up from Raine's drunken yelling) stood up with an idiotic look on his face. "Ha! I knew it! Everyone who enters that casinofalls under alien mind control!" Everyone sweatdropped. "Actually Lloyd," Colette said, "They were all just drunk."

"Colette, I know alien mind control when I see- OOH! A firefly!" Lloyd started to chase it around while Presea stared at him. "He's 17 years old, but doesn't know when someone's drunk?" Genis sighed. "Presea, this is LLOYD we're talking about."

"Good point. Anyway, should we head back?" Colette looked worried. "But what about the others?" Genis shrugged. "They'll be thrown out sooner or later. It's late, we should get to bed. We'll see them in the morning." Genis didn't know how wrong he was… But before we find out why, lets have cookies!

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Well, what'd ya think? It's my first ToS fic,so be nice! I will NOT exept flames! I will, however, take constructive critism. Also, I apoligise if I was Colette bashing. She's actually one of my favorite characters. But, I like to make fun of the ones I love anyway. Well anyway,review,and you'll get a cookie.

_Birth of Venus_


	2. Chapter 2

Hi everyone! Sorry I took so long updating, but I'm just lazy! sob, sob And theirs the fact that I dislocated my knee a few days ago, so… Yeah. Anyway, here's another fun-packed chapter filled with pointless drabble, accidental bashing, and a huge loss of half the ToS cast! But first… Review responces!

Clever Dan- Thanks. Yes I know I rule! Sorry, I'm egomaniacal.

Himiti- Well, I really didn't mean to be that MEAN to Colette. She's one of my favorite characters! Ah well, whatever makes my readers happy. throws Colette into a tank full of sharks Colette: AAAHHH! I WILL KILL YOU!

Aldia- Ah well, I was to lazy to write out a fight with Shadow so I quickened the pace. And let us all mourn the loss of Mr. Jim-Jim. cries for 5 seconds Ok, I'm done.

Lily- No! On the contrary, I really like Colette. But you have to admit that she does get annoying every now and then. And in humor, you just have to throw those annoying qualities right back at them!

Powhammer- Lol! I'm glad you liked that joke. It was originally going to be Hillary and Haley Duff saying that, but I thought that's a naughty thing to do on when you bash celebrities. My story would get removed!

Disclaimer crud: Birth of Venus does not own Tales of Symphonia. But that will change soon. Bwahaha…

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**Chapter 2: Spiky Cleats and Bricks**

It was a beautiful day in Tethe-Alla. The birds were singing, the… Wait, this is how I started the first chapter, didn't I? Ah well, whatever. Anyway, the creepy baby sun from Teletubbies rose in the sky smiling creepily down on everyone. Now, when THAT sun appears, you just know that disaster is about to strike! And it certainly did.

The creepy baby sun shone through the curtains in the room where our "heroes of the two worlds" were staying, particularly on Lloyd's face. He however, was immune to it's evil wakey-wakey powers and continued to snore and mumble in his sleep. "Mmmm… No thank you, Pretty Princess Rainbow Monkey. I couldn't possibly eat another chocolate coated sugar chunk caramel daisy cocacola chicken parmesan pickles and ketchup sandwich…IMPORTED. Ah well, maybe one more" And thus he started munching on his pillow. This freaky scene continued until a large brick met his skull waking him up instantly.

"LLOYD YOU FREAKING IDIOT, GET UP!"

Lloyd blinked and sat up in bed with blood trickling down his face and stared into the eyes of a very pissed off Genis. He moaned. "Genis, you just killed two of my six brain cells!" Genis's expression of anger quickly changed into one of surprise. "You have brain cells?" Lloyd nodded. "Here, take a look!" He handed Genis an x-ray screen. Genis peered through and saw four brain cells playing poker, and two others lying dead.

"Well, I'll be damned. But that's beside the point! The point is…" Suddenly Colette burst through the door and jumped on Genis's head. "RAINE, SHEENA, REGAL, AND ZELOS ARE MISSING!"

"Yeah, that," came the muffled sound of Genis under Colette's spiky cleats that she decided to try on this morning. That's when Presea walked in. "What are you idiots doing?" Colette looked up. "Oh, Presea! Did you find any clues?"

"Clues? Colette, I just went out for coffee, I don't care what happens to those guys. Or any of you for that matter." Colette looked puzzled. "Aren't you a little young to be drinking coffee?" Presea just looked blankly at Colette. "You're really dumb, you know that?" Colette just smiled. "Hee-hee. Sorry." Presea just rolled her eyes. Suddenly, Colette felt a certain twitch from under her VERY spiky cleats.

"GET OFFA ME!" cried Genis as he threw Colette off him. He now had many holes in his head. Colette looked up at Genis and then down at her cleats. "Aw, Genis, you got blood on my new spiky cleats! Now I have to wash them," Colette sighed taking them off and putting on her regular white boots. Genis was about to throttle Colette but Presea suddenly spoke up. "Uh, aren't we forgetting a certain someone?"

Everyone turned to look at Lloyd who was staring into space. He then looked up. "Huh, what are we talking about?" Everyone except Colette rolled their eyes. "Um, nothing really. Except that half of our party has been missing for THE PAST 8 HOURS!" Genis screamed throwing another brick at him hitting him in the head. "OWWW! Genis, are you on a Brain cell killing spree or something!"

"Um, um… Shouldn't we be looking for the others?" Colette asked a bit timidly. Lloyd, being the heroic, yet idiotic person he was got up. "Yeah, lets go find our chipmunks!" Genis looked at Lloyd confused. "Don't you mean our friends?" Lloyd nodded. "That's what I said. Our chipmunks!" Everyone sighed. This was going to be a LONG fanfiction.

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Well, what did you think? I'm sorry it's so short. I kept you waiting this whole time, and all I could give you was this scrap. But the next chapter will be longer, I promise! In the meantime, please keep reviewing!


	3. Chapter 3

Omg, I'm soooo sorry for the long absence! But this time, I have a good excuse! My computer recently completely crashed, and I haven't been able to update. But now I'm back and ready to continue! But first the disclaimer: Ok, I don't own Tales of Symphonia. Namco does. I think that everyone knows that by now.

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**Chapter 3: Heeeeeres KRATOS!**

Before our heroes set off to search for the missing half of the party, they went to the restaurant in the hotel for a nice breakfast of tea and crumpets. Why, you ask? Because they were hungry, and Lloyd is a big whiny crybaby when it comes to food, so they had no choice. So, Genis, Colette, and Presea decided to be productive and discuss the issue at hand while Lloyd was busy stuffing his face. "Hey," Genis said munching on a crumpet, "You think that it could be Cruxis doing this? After all, we aren't exactly on their Best Friend list." Presea nodded. "That is a possibility. But why would they kidnap them instead of Colette? I thought they wanted her to be Martel's vessel." Genis shrugged. "It could be bait to lure us there." Colette shook her head. "Genis, if they could capture Zelos, Raine, Sheena, and Regal, then wouldn't it be easier to capture the almost always Damsel in Distress?"

Genis sighed. "Why am I being portrayed as the stupid one here?" Colette gave her usual idiotic smile. "Don't worry Genis! Whenever you feel like a dunce, you can always compare yourself to Lloyd!" Genis looked over at said Lloyd who was currently stealing crumpets off some innocent person's plate. "Good point. Now I feel like Einstein again." Presea just stared at Lloyd. "Was he… Dropped on his head when he was little or something?" Genis sighed. "Nah, he's just obsessed with crumpets." Suddenly, a waiter came up to them dragging Lloyd by one of the white ribbon thingies trailing from his collar. "Excuse me, is this yours?"

Colette nodded. "Yes, he's our friend. Why do you ask?" The waiter looked at her in a pissed off manner. "Well, for one thing, he's been eating crumpets off of other people's plates, and another, he said I had a big nose." Colette bowed. "I'm sorry; I'll try to keep him on a leash next time." The waiter rolled his eyes. "You do that. Honestly, that boy's as troublesome as the president and his companions were last night." Colette looked up hopefully. "What happened? Where are they now?" The waiter shrugged. "Beats me. All I remember was the president randomly kicking people in the shins, one girl drank herself into a stupor, another was rambling about ruins, and the Chosen was trying to kidnap a couple girls in bunny suits. Then the Ruins lady screamed about Ruins and ran off, with the others running after her." Genis looked up. "Do you know where they went?"

"I think they said something about the Tower of Salvation." Genis got up. "Well, that's all we need to know. Come on guys." And with that, they left with Presea dragging Lloyd behind her. "But I want more cruuuuumpets!" Lloyd whined.

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Due to Lloyd's constant whining, the others bought 500 crumpets to go before boarding the rheihards and zooming off towards the Tower of Salvation. "If Cruxis has done anything to harm my sister, then I'll… I'll… Call them mean names!" Presea rolled her eyes. "Yeah, Genis. That'll help lots…" Colette smiled. "Yeah, Genis! We're counting on you!" Presea sighed and started banging her head against her rheiard muttering "I'm surrounded…" And what was Lloyd doing, you ask? Why, munching on crumpets of course:D Finally, the Tower of Salvation came into view and Kratos, that's right folks, THE KRATOS (Cue screaming fangirls) was standing in front of it. He looked up at the Rheiards coming into view. "Oh no, not those idiots."

They landed their Rheiards and surrounded Kratos. "All right," Lloyd said stepping forward while eating a crumpet. "Where's our friends?" Kratos raised one eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"Not talkin' eh? Well, that can be easily fixed! Genis! Lights!" Genis gave a salute and pulled out his Kendama. "Roger! SOME RANDOM DARKNESS SPELL!" And suddenly, the world around them went black except for a small lamp that came out of nowhere shining only on Kratos who was now very pissed off. "What is the meaning of this!" Just then, Lloyd came into view wearing a scary hat, a jacket, and he was smoking a cigar. (Which angered Kratos' parenting instincts, but he showed no sign of it) "Okay, see, we knows that you've got our buds held captive, see, so we want you to start singin." Kratos folded his arms. "I have no idea what you're talking about." Presea stared at Lloyd's…um…Interesting clothes. "Genis, are you SURE he wasn't dropped on his head when he was little?"

Kratos quickly whipped his head around in Presea's direction. "WHO TOLD YOU!" Presea just looked wierded out. "Tell me what?" Kratos quickly turned away embarrassed. "Um, nothing." Lloyd bit down on his cigar. "You gave me no choice, see? I'm going to have to pull out our secret weapon, see?" He rummaged around in his bag until he brought out a radio and turned it on. And lo and behold, Zelos' singing voice rammed into Kratos' ears. (Everyone else had earmuffs on.)

_On top of SPAGGHETTI! All covered with CHEESE! I lost my poor MEATBALL! When my cute hunny SNEEZED! It rolled off the TABLE! And onto the FLOOR! Then my poor MEATBALL! Rolled right out the DOOR! It rolled off the SIDEWALK! And into a BUSH! When I found my poor MEATBALL! It was nothing but MUUUUUUSHHH! And then me and my cute hunny made out… _

"AAAAHHH! MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP!" Kratos yelled. "I TELL YOU, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" Colette turned it off. "If Kratos didn't speak after listening to Zelos sing, then maybe he really doesn't know anything." Genis stepped forward. "Well then, if you didn't kidnap our friends, then you're just going to have to help us find them!"

"After making me listen to THAT? Never!" Kratos hissed. Genis smirked. "Oh, you'll help us alright… After you see THIS!" He pulled out a photo. But it wasn't any ordinary photo. No my friends, this was a picture of Kratos… In a purple Maid's outfit. (looking extremely pissed off, mind you.) Kratos face drained of all color. "Wh-where did you get that?" he whispered. "The last time we ran into each other. You dropped it. And if you don't help us, I'm going to make copies of this and makes sure every person in Tethe'alla and Slvarant gets one. Kratos' look of horror quickly changed into one of anger. "You will do no such thing!" and he pulled out his Flamebridge… If he had it that is. Kratos looked down angrily. "What! Where's my sword!" Colette looked up holding it in her hands. "Hm? Oh, I'm sorry, you just dropped it and…"

"Give it to me… NOW!" (Boy, never seen Kratos this pissed, huh?) Colette backed away nervously. "Um… Okay, sorry." Unfortuneatelly, Colette tripped accidentally dropping Flamebridge into the bottomless pit that surrounded the Tower of Salvation. Kratos stared down with a look of horror and anger mixed on his face. There was a long silence between everybody until Kratos gave a sigh of defeat. "Fine, I'll help you find your idiotic friends… For now." He walked up to Genis menacingly. "But mark my words and mark them well, boy. I WILL get that photo back from you and when I do… There will be hell to pay." And with that, he walked off with the others following him nervously.

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Where are the others? Who kidnapped them? And why oh, WHY was Kratos wearing a maid's outfit? Find out in the next chapter, you filthy little maggots. I mean, lovely readers!


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